Countless articles have been written on the topic of friendship, nonetheless I find myself obliged to add my voice, or to go consecutive, my pen and paper to the topic as old as the flow of human blood in human veins. (L, Hughes, 1921)

Friendship, as accepted by many folks or communities refers to a relationship that exist between two or more people that involves mutual trust and support. As simple as it sounds to your ear, many of these relations have broken down due to petty issues and other have also developed into the most beautiful things that existed on earth.

My focus in this article is however not on the trust that should be between friends or what causes friends to turn to foes or anything of the sort. The article seeks to establish the boundary of

  1. WHO IS A FRIEND
  2. WHO IS A COLLEAGUE/MATE

No one was born with friends, that is something you would have to build as you grow. From the community, to school, to your place of worship perhaps, and then at work. That is the same way colleagues are met right? True. What then distinguishes your colleagues from your friends? For I vehemently disagree with the school of thought that thinks we should or can use them interchangeably.

A colleague is someone you work with, true. Not to say you don’t work with your friends. But with colleagues, the relationship ends there. Oswald can you solve this for me? Oswald can you charge my phone for me? James can you do that for me? And the conversation goes on. When you leave the setting of your meeting, the relationship ends there. Perhaps you may check-in once a month or so but it does end there. That’s what colleagues do. And it is right. From where I stand there is nothing wrong with it. There should be a very incontestable reason why you should ask your colleague to visit you at home or to meet you somewhere, unless of course it is official business, say, you have been given a group work to do or you have been paid to present a paper on behalf of the company or anything in that line. There, the two of you have the responsibility to find where you are going to meet and do whatever is expected of you. After the project is over, it’s ‘’hey!’’ and ‘’sup’’ all over again and everything is fine. You borrow from your colleague and you must in all your domain relocate to an unknown destination if you are to remain safe in the event you cannot pay back.

A friend on the other hand, I believe is what others may call a partner for life. If I call you my friend, it means when I call you at 2am or 6pm and say come, I need no further words, it means come, whether it is to chit chat or to come save my life, it means come. I should not tell you why you should come before you decide whether or not it is a legit reason to come. You can know the reason when you get to me. Of course that’s why I will also term myself your friend, it means I would not call you to come chit chat when you have something more important to do, unless chit chatting is what stands between me and ‘death’ at that moment. But the point there is, there should be no justification for you to abandon a friend to solitude, unless he wills it for meditation or any similar sake, otherwise let him or her know, you are friends not mates.

And if you have to borrow from your friend, you should not take advantage of that relationship and think you do not need to return the item or resource on time. For even the Bible says it clearly, when you borrow your neighbors cloak, make sure you return it by nightfall, just to paraphrase. And if your friend should borrow from you, you should not make capital out of it, he will pay you when he pays you, that’s all, nothing contradictory just read it over till you understand.

The point here is that, many people have misconstrued the idea of friendship and are walking around with their colleagues thinking they have friends, until they are in need and find that wow…

These criteria may not do it for you, but when next you think you are hanging out with your friends, make sure you are hanging out with your friends, not your colleagues.

Oswald K Azumah.